2007-06-02

A friend just sent me a link ... quite interesting.
Go have a look

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Malaysia


Among the excerpts ...

************************************************
Essentially a tiny peninsula found to the north of their cousins who live on an even smaller island Singapore, it is a young nation of diverse cultures and races such as F1 Formula-1 and Nascar. Malaysia's timezone is unique because it follows the system of +1/+2 PMT (Predetermined Meeting Time) which is 1 or 2 hours later than PMT. Most foreigners are having difficulty adjusting to this new timezone as they tend to show up 1 or 2 hours earlier than the local counterparts. The nation is moving foward with a vision as a collective community towards the vision of becoming a developed nation by the year 2020, 4040, 5050 or whatever catchy number. Malaysia is a nation in Southeast Asia and is made up of 13 states namely Selengor, Kedoh, Terengggganu, Kelentoh, Pahang, Penang, Malacca, Johor Balu (just north of Singkaypoh), Sabah, Sarawak (which are essentially Malaysia's eastern colonies), Police, Maliuka, Berak and Nogowi. The three federal territories Kuala Laupek, Puterijaya and Labuah don't count as states since they're too small anyway, like Taiwan. Another common state that Malaysians have is denial (no lah, where got?), which incidentally, is a river in Egypt

************************************************

Favorite quotes of the Customer Service representative at TMwait Slowmyx / TMnerd Shitmyx:
(if u r using external ADSL modem)"Is the light of the ADSL light blinking of off??"
"Please unplug your network cable and turn it around and plug it back in" (Witchcraft lah, just stand up and turn around 3 times, your internet will be aaalrite!)
"What version of Windows are you using?" (If it ain't WinXP, fuxx you, we do not support Mac, Win2k or Linux)
"Please unplug your microfilter and plug the modem wire directly into the wall socket" (I can hear the pages flipping, she's either reading Kosmo! or from a frickin' manual, which I can also do, and Fuxx You very much, I already tried, my microfilter is brand new)
"You must plug your SATA modem to the IDE floppy disk and put your USB monitor to the 2-socket plug. Then only can you turn on the 30-Amp power to your Acer.
"I tak tahu..." / "I don't know..."
" "Currently, we have no service distruption in malaysia"<--- a good reply when international cable breakdown. Stupid Customer service dont even know.
" Nonit talk so much la..... Let me make report for u. U take the report number and keep quiet... Wait for technician to come( if he remembers).. Bye.... tooo..tooo..
" Now restart your comp....
" Uninstall and then reinstall the network driver. That didn't work for you? What you don't have your original disks? No problem, use this web site... what do you mean you have no Internet without the driver? Are you trying to question me?"
"Please reinstall your modem"(driver)
" I am sorry, our support does not cover that. Try calling the company that made your computer or Microsoft. (I have no idea what you are talking about and my script does not cover these sorts of things. Rather than tell you I have no talent, I am instead telling you to go somewhere else and passing the buck to them. Yet I know they also have help desks in Malaysia so I am phoning them ahead to warn them about you. You are so fuxxored.)
"Talk talk talk... Please wait while all our staffs are engaged on line...(Stupid tmnut song plays... played over and over hundred of times.. then, line disconnected" - This happened when all the staffs went to minum kopi, lepak, talk cock ...etc watever and refused to answer the phone because they know they can't do anything other than saying "Please wait while our technical workers are currently fixing the problemss"
"Huh ?"
"Cannot... cannot" -TMNET customer service on speaking to your supervisor
"Tomorrow you come lah... to tmnet center" -TMNET customer service typical panics
An official reply via email from their customer service: "Send email with details can ? We no receive your email at all." Same email recycle until customers give up.
"Suh... you made no payments" -on the bill you payed 3 months ago, now they're threating to block your connection
"Oh unplug your cable lah, then you squeeze squeeze should be ok adiiiiii!!!"
"Slow? I think you should upgrade to Streamyx 1 Meg. How much you are paying now? Just add little bit only ma."
"Unplug your telephone line, rub it towards your breast, let the telephone line gets high, then plug back in ur asshole. I'm 100% u can use ur internet to see BOGEL INTERNET."

************************************************

Go take a look at the full article and have a good laugh.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...